My Pollyanna personality tends to always focus on the positives of every situation; it's how I was raised. I am an eternal optimist. My parents both strove to raise optimistic and positive children and I think they were successful.
As a result most of what I post is pretty optimistic! But that does not mean that every day homeschooling is easy. There are challenges! Some days flow smoothly, but some days are rocky and difficult. There are toddler tantrums, preschoolers getting in my bizness, reluctant pupils, lolligagging, bickering and petulance, resistance, et cetera. I just don't write about those days because of my bright-side-of-life attitude and because I don't want to over-focus on the negatives. Life *is* hard, but that *is* life.
If something isn't working during schooltime, I try to be proactive, to think about it and troubleshoot, problem-solve and be creative about how to resolve the issue. If a book isn't working for us, I shelve it--there's always next year (this happened last year with This Country of Ours--reading it was torture! so I saved it). I also utilize some audio-resources; for instance, I hate reading Just So Stories. I enjoy their humor and the elegance of Kipling's language, but reading them to my not-quite-comprehending-them-and-auditory-processing-challenged 6 year old was *not* working for me. Fortunately, Jim Weiss has a wonderful recording of Just So Stories. I shelved the whole thing last year and picked back up with it this year--letting Weiss do the work. We'll see how that goes!
My house is not always neat, even though I work diligently at housekeeping; my children don't always behave (although they are good children, they are Very Real Children); *I* don't always behave, even though I wish I did (I'm Very Real), et cetera. This is life and the more mature I get the less I am bothered by the fact that I am living a very real life! I'm grateful for all the opportunities real life provides for growth, faith, and depending on the One who orchestrates the whole thing.
I think of our memory verse for this week: "Be joyful always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
And: "I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances....I can do all this through Him who gives me strength." -Philippians 4:11, 13
If something isn't working with school, the best thing to do is to regroup, say a prayer, think about how to solve the problem, maintain optimism, and be okay with being real!
Showing posts with label Encouragement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Encouragement. Show all posts
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
Parenting without Scolding
Shinichi Suzuki, on retraining a bad attitude in a child--
"Scolding does no good and should be avoided....the whole household would do no more grumbling but that we all would have to display better manners and conduct in our daily life. 'If we create such an environment, Koji [the child who had a bad attitude and had been scolded] will, without noticing it, become a good child, and his life will not be harmfully distorted by scolding.'"
This is certainly good food for thought in assessing parenting and the atmosphere we create in our homes. Are manners and good conduct hopelessly old-fashioned, or do they serve a purpose? I submit that in a home where people do try to display manners and good conduct to each other, the children absorb this by osmosis. That is not to say it doesn't take years of polite correction to get a child to practice good manners, but that all the scolding and training in the world is useless unless we as parents are willing to 'walk the walk' in our daily lives. I also believe that I should correct my children with a kind, gentle attitude, and not by yelling, scolding or acting harsh (easier said than done sometimes, right? We are all human....) and I try to do this each day. The more practice I get the more naturally it comes to be able to correct and guide my children without losing my own cool...and *they* notice this and take it to heart.
One of my little mottoes is to treat your guests like family and your family like guests. This fits in nicely with that and provides inspiration to continue trying to live that out in our family life!
Once again, Shinichi Suzuki's advice goes beyond the music lesson!
"Scolding does no good and should be avoided....the whole household would do no more grumbling but that we all would have to display better manners and conduct in our daily life. 'If we create such an environment, Koji [the child who had a bad attitude and had been scolded] will, without noticing it, become a good child, and his life will not be harmfully distorted by scolding.'"
This is certainly good food for thought in assessing parenting and the atmosphere we create in our homes. Are manners and good conduct hopelessly old-fashioned, or do they serve a purpose? I submit that in a home where people do try to display manners and good conduct to each other, the children absorb this by osmosis. That is not to say it doesn't take years of polite correction to get a child to practice good manners, but that all the scolding and training in the world is useless unless we as parents are willing to 'walk the walk' in our daily lives. I also believe that I should correct my children with a kind, gentle attitude, and not by yelling, scolding or acting harsh (easier said than done sometimes, right? We are all human....) and I try to do this each day. The more practice I get the more naturally it comes to be able to correct and guide my children without losing my own cool...and *they* notice this and take it to heart.
One of my little mottoes is to treat your guests like family and your family like guests. This fits in nicely with that and provides inspiration to continue trying to live that out in our family life!
Once again, Shinichi Suzuki's advice goes beyond the music lesson!
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